This Made Me Smile – November 18, 2011

He was so unassuming, like who’s that tall lanky white boy in the back, is he the A/V guy or something?

Ya Feel Me?

In the course of my conversations, I tend to use the phrases “you understand?”, “you get it?”, “you feel me?” or any variation of the previous (depending on the audience, of course). To me, if I’m trying to communicate a point, if I’m trying to argue you down or whatever, I feel that you’ve got to be able to understand what the hell I’m talking about.

There was a recent “The Nanny” episode I watched (thank you Nick at Nite”), where the titular character said something to her boss/husband that made sense to the folks watching in TVLand but made no sense to him. His response was “Darling, I know that made sense in there [he points to her head], but I’m out here!” And I think that’s what a lot of bloggers do. They make a post about something and write it as though their readers have reserved seating in the control room of the blogger’s mind and can see the thought processes involved in the statement. When I read a blog post, I’ll be honest, I tend to skim unless there is a reason why I need to carefully scruntinize each paragraph, sentence and punctuation mark. And often, I can misunderstand the point because I don’t have a similar mindset or share a common background or experience. I would give you an example to illustrate what I’m talking about, but alas, I’m on my BlackBerry and don’t have any readily accessible.

I know many of my readers are bloggers themselves, so I have a question for you. If you are blogging for an audience, meaning that you want people to read and care what they think about your posts, are you making sure that your audience can understand what you’re saying? Do you re-read over your posts and edit accordingly? Or do you commit verbal diarrhea on the keyboard, hit “Submit” and never look back?

And I know this was a real quickie post (like I said-posted from the BB), but it was just something that ran across my mind.

Motivation…

A little over a week ago, I embarked on a 27 Blogs in 27 Days mission. The point of it was simple: blog once a day for 27 days… so we’re at day 8 and I am officially 3 blog posts behind. The reason? I’m going to say lack of motivation.

I was told: “Just put something out there!” which would satisfy the blog-a-day requirement. But me? I like to hold myself up to a higher standard. When you see a post from me, it’s not so easy and quick. Let me not lie, there are some that are easy and quick, especially the ones from my Tumblr. But in general, I pride myself on putting effort into my posts and doing research to ensure that what I’m saying isn’t unfounded.

I read other people’s blogs and think to myself that it seems so easy for them to bare their soul or tell an interesting story about something that’s happened in their life. How easy it is for them to liken a pop culture topic to something personal or how easy it is for them to glean a relevant convo about a current event.

Sometimes, I don’t feel like sharing so much of my life in a public arena. I admire those who can, candidly and touchingly. Sometimes, I don’t have an opinion that I feel is worth sharing. Example: the BP oil spill. Yeah, it’s a crappy situation, yeah, BP should be doing more, damn, look at the poor birds. Thing is, so many other bloggers have said the same exact thing. So I feel that a post from me would be somewhat pointless if I don’t provide a more…unique viewpoint. Sometimes, I’d rather just watch Fresh Prince re-runs and chill instead of pulling 500-some-odd words out of my head about God knows what…

I asked others for topics. And got a ton of great suggestions. And I have 3 posts waiting in my drafts because I could find the words to make it past the first paragraph.

All of this complaining (and yes, I’m admitting that it is complaining) is all to say that I am right back where I started at the beginning of this post: trying to get over an acute lack of motivation. I will be back and break through this writer’s block as writers usually do. And I plan to make up for the lapse in posts ASAP!

So tell me, what do you do to get motivation or get over writer’s block?

Are You Secure Within Yourself?

What does it mean to be secure? To me, it means that you enjoy yourself in life. You continually improve on your strengths and continually try to diminish your weaknesses. You understand that you have a place in this world and you excel if you have found it or you work toward it if you’re not quite there yet. You accept others as they are and offer help if they need and want it, but you also value that we need to have differences in this world to fill our lives  with varied and rich experiences.

Let me posit it to you in some other ways. If you’re secure in your:

• Sexuality - you don’t put down people of the opposite sexual orientation. Gay, straight, undecided. It’s hard enough finding another person to love without having to worry about if people disapprove of the sex of your partner.
• Religion - you don’t put down other religions. Your religion should make you whole, should comfort you in times of trouble, should be your divining rod in moral crises. How another person chooses to deal with this world, whichever deity another person chooses to worship should not affect you. No need to “discredit” other religions as wrong if you feel yours is right. Keep practicing and if anyone wants to know more about it or is wanting to convert, be the welcoming hand. Not the hand that shuns because their God sports an elephant trunk and yours sports a bearded man in a robe.
• Size - you don’t put down people who are significantly bigger or smaller than you… the terms “skinny bitch” or “fat whale” should not leave your mouth unless you are talking about a underweight female dog or, well, a whale who likes to indulge in penguin goodies way to often.
• Race/Culture – you don’t put down others’ race/culture/ethnicity. I’m Nigerian. Proudly Nigerian. I’m Black, proudly Black. Would I put down an Ethiopian? A Korean? An Indian? A Canadian? No, I figure as much as I love my culture and my heritage, I can learn a lot from other cultures. How can you rally against Mexican immigrants when just last week you chowed down on chimichangas and downed a strawberry margarita? How can you rally against Arabs when you ordered an extra side of hummus last month? I must be hungry right now!  But when we all borrow from each other’s cultures, who are we to say that cultures that are foreign to us are bad?
• Achievements - you don’t put down others’ achievements. What have you done with your life? Have you reached your potential? Are you trying to reach your potential? No? So why are you putting down someone else who has reached theirs or is progressing towards theirs? By stopping their progress, do you advance yours? By destroying their will to improve, will your will become bigger? If so, take a real look at yourself… you could be considered a parasite if you leech off of others and stop their growth in order to further yours? Instead, it’s better to work on yourself and if so inclined or able, help others along their path to their potential. Build. Do not destroy.

To be sure, it’s a hard thing to be 100% secure within yourself… but if you find yourself overwhelmed with insecurities and find that you are resorting to diminishing others in your mind, in your word, and in your deed to make yourself feel better, superior, what does that really solve? Are you making yourself better? Or not? Those insecurities still remain. You must deal with them before you can grow, before you can prosper, before you can help others.

What will you do today to become more secure?

Take a look at another perspective on being secure within yourself at OwlAsylum’s blog.

Hello

Hi there. Wow, I’m glad you came by. Welcome to the first of many posts from me.

Even right now, I’ve got a notebook that I’m filling up with ideas of things I’d like to talk about and for posts that I think you might like to read.

And to welcome you to the wonderful world of AllTayo, I’d like you to watch the following video and let me know is it me you’re looking for? Tell me how to win your heart, for I haven’t got a clue, but let me start by saying…

Hit me up in the comments!

– Tayo

P.S. if you came directly here, you should check out my homepage (including my portfolio!)AllTayo.com.